News From Nowhere - 18/10/13

News reaches us of a disturbance in the force, as Will Self lays into Mark Kermode’s new book Hatchet Job, in the Guardian. We would love to see a debate between the pair:

"Mark, you're absolutely right to be concerned about this stuff from a personal point of view, you've quite correctly identified that people like you and I are dinosaurs, but why does this absurd romanticism buried deep within your soul still allow you to hope that we can somehow reverse the trend? Don't you understand? It's over, forget it, you might as well retire".

"But Will, surely if we encourage the next generation of like minds to see it as we see it..."

"Ha! Mark, I do find your particular brand of Gutenbergian denial quite charming. Another beer?"

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Also ruffling feathers is Ned Beauman in the London Review of Books, with his scathing review of Christopher Priest’s novel The Adjacent. Beauman, who became the token young man on last year’s Booker longlist thanks to a recommendation from Jonathan Beckman of the Literary Review, described Priest’s novel as ‘reaching new frontiers of dull’, with sentences ‘which are so workmanlike that you have the urge to offer them a few cups of strong tea as they go about their heavy business’. At Fop Towers, we rather like Mr Beauman’s refusal to take part in the normal industry back-slapping, but really, play nice boys.

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Sub-editors across the country are cursing and putting the red pen through the ‘load of shite that’ll never come out’ headlines, as it emerges that Morrissey’s autobiography *was* actually published by Penguin yesterday. Released just in time for the Christmas market, the memoir, dubbed ‘Mein Booky-Wook’ by Simon Price, will be competing for shelf-space with the likes of David Jason, Patsy Kensit and Jennifer Saunders. How to drum up interest in such a crowded market? Well, a conveniently leaked ‘last minute content disagreement’ can’t do any harm…

The book was released on the ‘Penguin Classics’ imprint. We would say something here about narcissists foisting their views on an indifferent public, but bloggers in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

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I was excited to receive a copy of the beautiful I Am Dandy – The Return of the Elegant Gentleman from Die Gestalten Verlag this week. This impressive tome acts as an encyclopaedic guide to male style. When it arrived, I eagerly scanned the book to find the photos I’d sent in, but alas, none was to be found. Rest assured I’ll do his best to overcome my bitterness at this snub, and produce a review with the customary level of impartiality.

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Kate Atkinson was victorious in The Guardian’s Not The Booker Prize competition, announced on Monday. Despite only winning 1.7% of the popular vote, which was carried by Zoe Venditozzi with 67%, Ms Atkinson’s novel Life After Life emerged triumphant after the judging process, which was streamed live on the paper’s website. This year’s Prize has been relatively drama-free, though some authors will be left wondering whether it was worth the effort of campaigning to get on the list, only to receive savage reviews from organiser Sam Jordison. Faring especially badly was Lucy Cruickshanks, described as ‘fighting an uneven battle with the English language’ in her novel Little White Lies and Butterflies. Atkinson becomes the proud recipient of a Guardian-branded mug for her troubles.

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Meanwhile, the Big Prize was won by Eleanor Catton, for The Luminaries. This marks an impressive double for Granta Books, who also published May We Be Forgiven by AM Homes, winner of this year’s Women’s Prize. Both were acquired by Sara Holloway, who has since left the company. Meanwhile, Rosalind Porter who worked with Catton for Granta magazine, has since moved to Oneworld, where she is setting up a new literary fiction list. It will be interesting to see whether Granta can maintain their current giddy standards after mass staff exits in the past eighteen months.

We also note that a search for ‘Eleanor Catton’ on the LRB website brings up no results. This ‘women in fiction’ thing will never catch on.

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Finally, We Need To Talk About Lazy Headlines. It may have sold zillions of copies and spawned an Oscar-nominated film, but maybe the real legacy of We Need To Talk About Kevin is the gift it has provided to sub-editors in the liberal media. A quick search turns up the following things we needed to talk about in the last six months: From The Guardian, we get Teenagers and the internet,  Open defecation  and Infrastructure (all September) as well as Masculinity (May); The New Statesman contributes Revenge porn (October), Sluts (Still) (October), Zimmerman (July) and The British Property Cult (July); The Huffington Post gives us God (October), Brazil (June), Suicide (June) and Eurovision (August) while The Independent joins in with Post-university depression (July) and Germany (May). What interesting dinner parties they must attend.

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